can trust ever be built up to what it was like before? you trust someone, with your whole heart, willingly, and then what? when the trust is broken, how can it be repaired? i think a person makes the choice whether to build it up or not. it takes effort, time, energy... but is it worth it? i think the worst thing is to trust someone, then have that person hurt you, but you give them a chance and try to trust them again, but then the same thing happens. what is the point in that??? i think all the broken trusts have caused me to be a bit more suspicious of people than i used to be. there are not many people that i trust. actually, very very very very very few people i feel are worthy of my trust. but what if i decided to mend that broken trust? not for the same reason, but just to heal. or can you heal, but not trust? not trusting puts the other person in such a different light... as if that person was someone different...foreign...a stranger? not the person you thought... not the person you trusted. but as someone asked me, is that really such a big loss? i don't know. if the person was important before, does the broken trust negate that? i think it does. what i wonder is, who was that person really? for real? i guess not the one i thought. is that fair? well, i suppose it's a 2-way street. one person breaks the trust. the other person deals with it either by trying to put back the pieces or decide that it's better left broken. some days i think that i have made my choice... other days i think that God wants it to heal. hmmm... but trust is not equated with forgiveness. so since i've forgiven, i've done my part. closure maybe? i'm not sure. well, yeah, i guess there was closure. there really isn't anything more to say or worth saying. and it's not like there is a broken friendship... just a broken trust. (is there such a thing?) well, you can't trust everyone. and so now, there's just another person added to my list.

and life goes on....